Monday, November 15, 2010

Good Times and Tears

We've just returned from spending a wonderful 4 days in Ankara visiting Ky's grandparents.  The weather outside was miserable and cold but the weather in our hearts was lovely and warm.  Kaya so loves playing with his Dede (grandfather) and Babanne (grandmother).  The first word he said when he woke up each morning was "Dede!!!" and the newest word added to his vocabulary (which he practiced saying over and over and over ... and over) was "Baba-NEE".  Each morning before the sun had barely spread its golden fingertips across the horizon, Ky had woken his grandparents with his incessant "De-DE Baba-NEE De-DE Baba-NEE!"  Each day started with a Dede-Baby walk around the neighbourhood while Mummy and Baba got to sleep in for an extra hour or so and Babanne prepared breakfast.  Kaya inevitably came home with muddy boots and frozen fingers, a tired smile and lots of babbling about his adventures.  The rest of the day was taken up with lots of good old Turkish home-cooking, visits to and from relatives, Kaya's investigation of every cupboard and box he could find, and some Mummy and Baba date time.  All in all it was a thoroughly enjoyable mini-holiday.  But holidays inevitably have to end and with this one, the smile left Ky's face as soon as we started loading ourselves and our bags into the car.  Sitting on Dede's shoulders, Ky watched quietly as we gathered near the door to put our shoes on.  He said not a word when we carried our bags to the car and loaded them neatly inside.  He didn't even make a sound as Baba hopped into the driver's seat and started the car.  But as soon as I put my hands around him to lift him into his car seat he started screaming!  He grabbed Dede around the neck and refused to let go.  Whenever I touched him he would scream louder.  After lots of soft words and several gentle attempts to take Ky from Dede we finally managed to get him to let go.  He didn't stop crying though.  And when I put him into his seat he arched his back and refused to sit.  Meanwhile Dede couldn't handle it anymore and with tears rolling down his cheeks, he snuck away and went back inside.  Baba, also a little teary-eyed, was not much help either.  Ky wanted his Dede.  He did not want to leave.  After several more minutes of cuddles, rubs on the back and soft murmuring, I finally got Ky into his seat and we were able to drive away.  I felt so sad for little Ky having to leave his beloved Dede behind and was wondering how long it would take for him to calm down when suddenly the crying had stopped and Ky was happily demanding "mama! mama! mama!"  Mama is the Turkish baby word for food.  And just like that our little one had recovered from his loss and was back to his normal hungry self again.  Phew!

The relationship between Ky and his grandfather is truly beautiful.  Unfortunately neither Murat nor I enjoyed relationships like this with any of our grandparents so we really love watching these two together.  What's going to happen when we finally move to Australia?  How are we going to nurture Ky's special relationship with his Dede from so far away?  Maybe we can encourage Dede to retire in Australia ....